How Churches Can Help Their Youth Struggling with Porn
A Vision for Discipling Teens Amidst Today’s Changing Sexual Ethic
If you’re a youth pastor, ministry leader, or volunteer, you’re on the front lines, guiding teens through a world that offers countless counterfeit versions of love, identity, and purpose. The challenge of discipling young people in today’s pluralistic culture is real—especially when it comes to issues around sexuality and pornography. What if the struggles teens face with sexual integrity are actually invitations to something deeper?
Beneath every teen’s sexual struggle lies a profound, God-given desire for connection, intimacy, and belonging. Addressing these struggles isn’t about destroying desire; it’s about guiding them to recognize their core longings—for real connection with God and with others. At 423 Next, we believe that discipleship in this area can transform these struggles into opportunities for a beautiful and redemptive understanding of their deepest desires. Here’s how to start:
1. Approach Pornography with Grace and Truth
“According to a nationally representative survey of U.S. teens, 84.4% of 14 to 18-year-old males and 57% of 14 to 18-year-old females have viewed pornography.”
The statistics on porn use among teens are staggering, and as a youth leader, you may be one of the few safe spaces where teens can openly talk about these struggles. Rather than reacting with judgment or surprise, lead with empathy. Instead of approaching teen’s sexual sin from the lens of “What’s wrong with you?” shift to “What happened to you?” For many teens, viewing pornography is linked to loneliness, boredom, or a longing for affirmation. Empathize with the struggle, then offer the truth that freedom is possible, and healing comes through connection and community.
A grace-based culture means accepting teens as they are and inviting them into a journey toward something better. Remind them of God’s unconditional love, which is patient and kind. This approach helps shift the narrative from “don’t do this” to “discover what you’re truly longing for.” Remind them that Jesus meets us in our brokenness with compassion, ready to heal and make us whole.
2. Make Your Ministry a Safe Space
Create an environment where honesty is valued, and students feel free to share openly. Make your ministry a place where confession and vulnerability aren’t just tolerated—they’re celebrated. To do this, lead with vulnerability, empathy, and humility. As leaders and pastors, it’s natural to be an example of righteous behavior, however, one of the best things you can model for your students is vulnerability in your struggles.
Equip leaders and volunteers in your ministry to model this authenticity, too. When you lead with transparency, it becomes easier for teens to step into the light with their struggles. Gen Z & Gen Alpha have a high value for authenticity in their relationships. The aim is to build a community where they feel known, loved, and supported in pursuing a deeper relationship with Christ.
3. Engage the Family
A teen’s journey toward sexual integrity and healing cannot happen in isolation. Parents play a crucial role, and they often feel just as uncertain about how to approach this topic. At 423 Next, we recognize this and offer resources designed to equip both parents and teens. By engaging the entire family, you provide a holistic approach that strengthens the teen’s support system at home and at church.
Consider hosting workshops or discussions where parents can learn about their teen’s world and receive practical tools for communication. When parents understand their teen’s core desires and the heart behind these struggles, they become allies in their child’s journey to wholeness.
4. Let Us Partner with You
You’re not alone in this journey. 423 Next aims to equip churches and train leaders in supporting teens and families in this complex area of discipleship. Our resources, trainings, and support systems are here to help you navigate these conversations with wisdom, confidence, and grace. We know the many demands pastors face leading their church- this is why we exist, to launch communities within churches, effectively train volunteers to lead them, and manage their health.
There is Hope
Discipling teens through sexual struggles may feel overwhelming, but God has placed you in this role for such a time as this. There is hope for transformation, and that transformation often begins with you, a trusted guide who loves these teens like Christ.
At 423 Next, we believe in this vision and are here to support you as you lead your students to find lasting freedom and wholeness in Christ. Together, let’s disciple the next generation to see beyond the shallow promises of the world and seek out the true, abundant life that Christ offers.